Doulas, Partners and Labor
I got to be part of a beautiful labor some weeks ago, that made me want to address the role of the partner in the context of labor and the role of the Doula in this relationship.
Sometimes partners are fearful that by hiring a Doula, she will be taking their place in this very important moment in the mother and partners relationship, making the partners role redundant. The reality is that the Doula’s role is to be part of a support team. The Doula brings to this relationship her training and experience in the wider perspective of labor and postpartum period, tips and tools to cope with labor, in addition to information to help the couple make decisions, and be able to be objective when sometimes emotion wants to steal the show.
Although the Doula’s main focus is the laboring mother, she can also be a support for the father, working alongside him as a team. Long is gone the time when the partner was relinquished to the waiting room of the maternity ward, pacing up and down the corridor with his celebratory cigar, waiting for the nurse to emerge from the room, with news of the arrival. The partner of today wants to be involved in every step, from the planning to the day itself, providing support and comfort. The Doula can help the father prepare for this, providing her knowledge and information, and teaching him some techniques, and even providing cover for when the labor becomes lengthy and he needs to recover (partners are not blessed with the same cocktail of hormones that the laboring woman is, making her able to endure the long labor) .
“While the doula probably knows more than the partner about birth, hospitals and maternity care, the partner knows more about the woman’s personality, likes, dislikes and needs. Moreover, he loves the woman more than anyone else there. The combination of partner and doula, along with a caring staff gives the woman the best chance of an optimal outcome.”. Penny Simkin Quote from The Birth Partner.
A Doula cannot provide the same level of support and connection that a partner can. The partner plays a vital role in the production of the hormone Oxytocin, which is also called the hormone of love. This hormone is secreted when we feel loved as this creates a feeling of connection and pleasure. It has been shown to lower stress levels, blood pressure, reduce muscle tension and produce an increased desire for social interaction. Oxytocin’s physical effect on the body is to make the uterus contract and so it is the main hormone of labor. With every contraction, the oxytocin levels rise higher and higher and after birth, the mother’s brain is saturated with extremely high levels of oxytocin. The baby also secretes oxytocin during labor with the levels remaining elevated for at least four days after birth. This means that immediately after birth and with the pain of labor over a mother is immersed in high levels of oxytocin and is primed and ready to fall in love and connect with her new baby.
As I observed everyone’s interaction in the room, I could not be more in awe of the connection and love that the partner had with his laboring wife, his loving gaze the concern and his desire to take her pain away. Everyone took on a role with the sole aim to alleviate her discomfort, to make sure that the mood was kept relaxed and joyful. It was a joint effort where little words were needed, just a lot of love and connection.
